Having a relative with mental illness can seriously affect everyone in a family. Each member’s reactions will differ. Often siblings or children of a person with a mental illness may try to distance themselves from the situation as soon as they can and may act as if it is not their concern. Nonetheless, the family member’s illness is usually a traumatic part of their childhood, and the consequent scars and worries may permeate their lives for years. In their young adulthood they often fear becoming ill themselves. As they grow older and have families of their own they worry about their children becoming ill. Many siblings back away from the entire issue (much to their parents’ dismay) and let their parents handle all the problems with their ill brother or sister. However, these siblings live in anxious anticipation of the day their parents are no longer alive. They know that they may then feel compelled to handle the problems.

Having a parent or sibling who has a mental illness can interfere with the normal developmental process. Special support or therapy may be necessary later in life to assist in the processing of the experience if the necessary education and understanding are not available while the family is in the midst of the experience.

People’s limits and tolerance for being with someone who is ill or disabled vary greatly. For many it takes days to recover from the pain of seeing someone suffer, sectioned and hospitalised . It is best if everyone can respect these differences. It takes different amounts of time and a degree of maturity before someone is ready to involve himself or herself with an ill relative. The Guide, “Growing Up with a Relative Who Has a Mental Illness”, summarises the particular issues with which siblings and children of people with mental illness struggle.

GROWING UP WITH A RELATIVE WHO HAS A MENTAL ILLNESS

Siblings and children of people with a mental illness most commonly experience: denial, confusion, shame, sadness, guilt, fear, frustrating, anger, resentment

Having a parent or sibling with a mental illness often interferes with or significantly impacts upon:

1. social relationships
2. one’s image of one’s family
3. relationships with one’s parents
4. one’s choice of activities and responsibilities
5. one’s emotional well-being

1. At the onset of the illness.
2. During adolescence.
3. During episodes when the ill relative is acutely ill and behaves in ways that are especially strange, unpredictable, and unacceptable.

1. A family that is open to discussing the illness and its effects on everyone.
2. Supportive relationships with people with whom one can talk about the situation.
3. Learning about the illness, especially about how likely it is that one or one’s children will become ill.
4. Focusing on one’s own activities and relationships.

1. is older or younger.
2. is of the same or the opposite sex.
3. is close in age.
4. has a very severe or unpredictable illness.